The first year of Maya’s life is such a blur to me and yet some moments stand out so clearly.
I remember bringing her home. I remember how the second night she wouldn’t go to sleep and she was crying and hiccuping and I was very anxious as I had no idea what to do. I remember the relief I had when my mom came. I remember not having enough milk to pump and sending Martin to the drug store at 2 am to buy formula. I remember the first time I gave her roasted sweet potato. She ate one tiny bite and that made me happy. I remember how much she hated being in a stroller. I remember..
I remember a lot of things. They came back when I found her old bibs, some of them with stains, some torn. She never really liked them and would always pull them off as soon as she could.
My baby is growing. I do not want to forget giving her her first bath. I do not want to forget waking up almost every hour. As difficult as it was, it was an experience of a lifetime and it continues to be so. I will keep one bib just so one day I can give it to her. As this is what my mom did. And we can sit all night talking. Just like my mom and I when she was here helping me with Maya. And so I will tell Maya about hiccups and the stroller and the sleepless nights. I am so ever thankful to my mom for the toys and clothes that she saved. And I will think of her when I am talking with Maya. And probably I will cry as you truly understand your mom only when you have a child of your own.