So I am getting a bit confused over here.
I feel like I was having some sort of an expectation that is turning out to be a false one. I was hoping that meditation would turn me into this “enlightened” person who is cool, composed and who never gets angry.
But as time goes by and as I see myself still getting angry, I figured that meditation might not be the answer to every single question. And that is ok. Or maybe not enough time has passed, which is actually true too. Or that meditation and anger have nothing to do with each other at all. That anger is a normal human emotion and that there is not a single human being who never gets angry (I think, I have a double negative in the sentence but it is too late and I do not care).
After I started meditating, every time I would feel angry, I would feel guilty and disappointed with myself – how come I am still getting angry? Aren’t I supposed to be past that? Turns out that no, I am not. And I do not see that happening in the nearest future either.
I guess, this is another lesson to learn and to accept. For now, i am leaving you with this.