My latest observation is the following..
It is so much easier to do guided meditation that try and do it on your own. Half of the most recent meditation was guided and then the other half was just waves and music. During guided part I had no unnecessary thoughts, no mind chatter, nothing.
But then, all of a sudden, when I was supposed to do it on my own I got kind of lost. I wasn’t sure what to do as no one was telling me what to do. I once again had all sorts of thoughts appearing in my head. And that’s when I understood that I am eons away from being able to just sit and start meditating. Right now I still need guidance, I cannot do it on my own. But even then, the results are quite visible in my everyday life, which makes me very happy.
I am going now. My eyes are hurting from spending too much time at the computer today at work. My meditation is waiting for me. A guided one. One step at a time. One step.