I am getting impatient, guys. I can’t wait for this month to be over to finish my seminar on Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution and move on to the next challenge. I still haven’t decided on what it will be though. I will have to choose from my list.
Anyway, today I was making a slide for reflective listening as it is a very important part of conflict management. Sometimes being able to correctly identify the feeling of the person you are communicating with is half if not more of your successful conflict resolution.
Again I was thinking of a 17-year old me. I was a first year student, young and wild 🙂 and the morning class on Effective Communication seemed like a torture to me. That was the first time I heard about reflective listening. And I have been hooked ever since.
Who thought that just by saying, “Hmm, you look frustrated” I would be able to open up a conversation without having to directly ask the person what the problem is. Who knew that by saying, “Let me repeat you what you have just said just to make sure we are on the same page” would help me clarify multitude of misunderstandings. Who could imagine that by saying, “Please, help me understand you better. I am not trying to be difficult, I am genuinely confused” would help me have more trusting and respectful and open conversations with people.
At first I thought that these phrases were going to sound very unnatural and people would feel that I am trying too hard. But just like with everything else, it takes practice to make these words your own. And once you do, oh man, your communication skills sky rocket.
Reflective listening allows to observe and notice and make comments, and then you wait. The other person will do the job of telling you what you want or need to hear. It is that simple. Try and you will see how powerful it is.